(The poem was first published in Gulmohur Quarterly)
A Bengal monsoon burst
catches me without an umbrella
My helplessness — nothing
a warm bath and a hot
cup of tea cannot remedy — fountains
from a habit I perfected into trait
through six years of NCR conditioning.
You’ve got trees — nature’s own umbrella
said a colleague on our way to the metro.
We walked under the rumbling roof,
counting the trains we missed, not
so much the droplets tapping my
shoulders with the inevitability
of a post-precipitation cold and
the periodicity of a milestone.
An asbestos roof juts out
more than half-a-feet. My butt
squishes between the naked brick
wall and my conscious attempts
at tucking in an already sucked-in
belly. The corrugation of the roof
makes a cell out of cool water.
I was once told by a man with nauseating
confidence — the kind that is acquired
at birth — that he thought Adivasis
were either malnourished or athletic.
The fat around my belly suggested no
prospect of a sports-quota job — that I
was an editor at a private establishment kind of soiled
the conversation for him. His tongue,
the dying whip of Durin’s Bane, wondered —
loud enough for me to hear — before drowning
in loud WhatsApp forwards (mostly songs
of religious temperament), whether
Adivasis could do without reservation.
My first few years in Delhi, I always found myself
Under the umbrella, hiding.
I sleeve-swipe my soaked cellphone;
a feeds roulette on Instagram
informs me about the government’s
decision on OBC quota for medical education.
I read the comments. A rush
of thick, slimy, putrid secretion rise from concrete
burrows like foul vampires from graves; it’s amazing
what only a 27% precipitation could flush out.
I decide I can walk back home without an umbrella.
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